11 Things to Never Do on a First Date

First dates can be so exciting. Everything is new and unexpected. This person could be perfect for you and the night the beginning of your love story. It’s hard to not get caught up in the moment.

While you should be excited and open to possibilities, try not to get ahead of yourself. The purpose of a first date is to get to know the person and see if there’s a connection. Live in the moment and just enjoy your time together. The last thing you want is to make a bad impression because you have a preconceived notion of how the night is supposed to go.

This post is all about the 11 things you should never do on a first date. Keep these things in mind on your next date and focus on having fun together.

Have any of these things ever happened to you on your first date? Let us know in the comments!

1. Talk About Your Ex

Years ago, we were seated at a restaurant with tables too close together. We happened to be sitting next to people on a first date and since our tables were close, we could hear almost everything. This conversation actually inspired us to write a blog post on first dates.

Anyway, the date seemed to be going well, until the man, maybe mid-40s, started talking about his ex-wife. We had to stop ourselves from laughing because the man became animated when talking about how horrible she was. Safe to say, the woman sitting across from him knew any connection was gone the minute his voice rose and his hands made weird gestures. The person across from you doesn’t need to know your dating history right away.

2. Drink Too Much

Unless you’re planning on making a fool of yourself… Seriously, don’t drink too much. Nobody wants to play parent and take care of you on a date. Not only is it annoying, but it’s also very disrespectful. It doesn’t matter if you’re nervous and need “liquid courage.” There’s no logical reason to have more than a couple of drinks. That might even be too much, unless you’re also eating.

3.Make the Entire Conversation About You

We wrote an entire post called Think You’re Dating a Narcissist? Here’s How to Tell. One of the aspects of narcissism in relationship is making everything about you. Don’t go on the date and try to sound like the most impressive person in the world, while your date says nothing all night.

It’s a classic sign of narcissism to want the person you’re with to worship you. Don’t start this behavior on a first date…or ever. Your date doesn’t deserve to feel like you’re not interested in their life. In most situations, if you make everything about you, you won’t get a second date.

4. Try to Invite Them Home After

This can come off as desperate and creepy. If something happens naturally and it’s consensual, that’s different. But asking someone to come home with you when you’re sitting down for a nice dinner make you look like a total creep.

5. Get Too Personal

Getting too personal can include bringing up weird obsessions or past trauma. Seriously, they don’t know you well enough for you to get that personal.

For example, say you are obsessed with a certain actor or athlete, if you take this to far on the first date, they might think you’re a stalker and not just a big fan. When it comes to personal trauma, if you just start venting to this person, they might start to feel like you wanted a therapy session with someone and not a date. The key here is not to overwhelm someone on a first date or you won’t get a second.

6. Make Offensive Jokes

Disclaimer: racism, sexism and homophobia are not joking matters. If you make a joke about these topics, you’re going to come off badly no matter what.

However, also avoid other topics that may be sensitive, even if they don’t seem offensive in the way the topics above are. The other person doesn’t know you well enough to know when you’re joking around. Play it safe and don’t mention anything the person could feel touchy about. Even if you find it funny.

7. Say “I Love You”

Basically, don’t be Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. This is going to make your date feel uncomfortable and that you want to take things too fast.

If you’re internally thinking that this would never happen and is used to create drama, you’re mistaken. We know someone who was proposed to on the first date. We also know someone who said they thought about their wedding on a second date. Just don’t be weird because we guarantee you’re not actually ready to profess your love.

8. Be on Your Phone the Entire Time

There’s no better way to express disinterest than being on your phone all night. Even if you aren’t interested in a second date, it’s very rude. And if you are interested, but just love to be on your phone, then you’re going to come off badly. You can’t stay away from your messages for a few hours?

The only time checking your phone is appropriate is if something important is happening and you let your date know. Is your sister in labor across the country? Just tell your date this so they understand. Or if you’re feeling unsafe on a date, that’s a different story. If you are, text your friends where you are and notify a staff member.

9. Show Up Late

Unless something unforeseen happens, like a massive accident that your car can’t get around or an emergency at work, don’t be late. It tells the other person that you don’t value their time. The last thing you want is to arrive and your date is already cranky/agitated. If for some reason you have to be date, let them know ASAP.

10. Be Rude to Staff Members

It doesn’t matter if you’re at a restaurant, the movies or an arcade, wherever you go, treat the staff with kindness. There’s no reason to be a jerk and if you are, your date is going to want to run for the hills. You want to come across as a good person right away, so don’t screw it up.

11. Complain About Your Life

We mentioned earlier that you shouldn’t get too personal. You also shouldn’t complain either. Don’t start freaking out if service is slow at the restaurant or that something went wrong. Also, don’t start complaining about your everyday life.

Traffic sucked today and my meeting with the new boss was so boring. My friend was so annoying last night when we went to a bar. I wish my life were so different and I could join the circus. Your date doesn’t need to know everything that’s wrong with your life right now.