15 Questions to Ask Your Crush to See if You’re Compatible

If you like someone, the idea of starting a relationship with them is new and exciting. However, even after you know that they like you back, it’s important to know if you’re compatible before starting a relationship.

The reason to know the answers to these questions is because the excitement eventually wears off after the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over. Don’t jump into something without knowing whether the relationship has a chance to last.

We came up with 15 questions to ask your crush to determine your compatibility. The goal is for you to learn more about your crush by finding out if you have similar goals, lifestyles and values.

This post is all about how to find out if you and your crush are compatible.

1. What do you value most in relationships?

We’re starting off with a good open-ended question. There is no right or wrong answer, but we hope the person you ask this question to takes the time to really think about their answer. For us, trust, loyalty and communication are what we strongly value in any close relationship, including friendships.

Before you ask this question, think about your own answer. It’s important to know what you value in a partner and what you want to avoid.

2. In what ways do you hope to change in the next five years?

This might sound like a job interview question to an extent, but it’s important. Can you and your crush grow together as a couple? Or do you just have completely different life plans?

The question is about personal growth and what they want to focus on in their lives in the near future. You also need to determine what you need from a partner in the next five years.

3. In what ways do you hope to stay the same?

Similar to the previous question, it’s good to get a sense about what they like about themselves and their current lifestyle. Can you see yourself fitting into this?

For example, if this person parties a lot, but you assume when they get older, they would want to settle down…but their party lifestyle is what they don’t want to change, you might not be compatible partners.

4. What is your travel style?

As two people who plan on traveling the world, this is an essential question for us. Even if you’re not big travelers and don’t plan to be, we still think it’s important. Because traveling with another person is hard and it’s easy to have fights along the way.

Figure out how trips will work down to every detail. By this we mean, do you always have to travel together and how will time off be spent? When you do go on vacation, do you prefer adventure, luxury or low-key? Are you the type of person who needs to plan every detail or are you spontaneous? Lastly, are you more of a tourist or a traveler?

Trust us, knowing how to travel with someone makes a big difference. You can even test this out by planning a long weekend away together.

5. Would you prefer to spend money on things or experiences?

This question has you looking into the future. How someone chooses to spend money can cause a lot of conflict in a relationship. Spending habits are important to determine compatibility.

For example, is your crush someone who buys a lot of fancy designer pieces, but your someone who would spend a bonus on a new experience? This might cause conflict down the road so it’s important to know what the other person values.

6. What is your ideal work/life balance?

While your crush doesn’t need to have the same answer as you, it’s important to see how your lives will fit together. Figure out what work/life balance means to them. The answer can also help you determine if they’re type A or type B and what that means for a potential future together.

Based on their answer, you can decide if you need to be with someone who has similar view or maybe you prefer to be with someone who balances you out.

7. What are your biggest pet peeves?

What just annoys the crap out of you? You need to know each other’s pet peeves beforehand because something small to you could cause a conflict for the other person. Pet peeves might sound like something small and insignificant, but they have the potential to turn into big fights.

8. How do you typically resolve conflict?

This question touches upon communication style. Conflict is something every couple faces, there is no avoiding fights. What is more important is how you resolve it. Can you handle things in mature way or does the person you like have a bad temper?

Being able to discuss how to resolve disagreements prevents them from turning into something chaotic or relationship-ending.

9. What is your love language?

Previously, we published a blog post titled Learning Your Love Language, where we discussed figuring out how you prefer to show and receive affection. Even if you have different love languages, it’s not the end all be all. It just means it’s something for you to both be aware of.

You should know what your partner needs to feel appreciated and vice versa. It’s better to be upfront then learning through trial and effort.

10. How long was your last relationship and why did it end?

Discussing the past can get awkward, we get it. You don’t need every detail of their past. You should know about their most recent relationship, how long ago it was and what caused it to end. The reason why it ended can tell you a lot about your crush and what your crush wants from their next serious commitment.

11. What are your life goals?

Life goals include everything you plan/hope to accomplish. For their career, to their personal lives to what adventures they hope to embark on. See what they hope to accomplish in life and what that means for their futures. Tell them your life goals too. And if either of you is unsure about life goals, have a discussion about what that means.

12. What are your political and religious views? How important are they to you?

One of our biggest problems with the Bachelor franchise is their inability to discuss serious topics that should be known before an engagement takes place. You should know how your crush votes and if they are religious or not.

Before asking, know what your limits are. Are you okay with marrying someone who has different views than you do? And if so, to what extent? It’s better to know a person’s preferences and values before getting serious because you need to know what you can expect from the future.

13. What is your current financial situation?

Financial disagreements are a major reason for divorce, especially in the United States. This doesn’t mean you are entitled to see their bank statements, current income and debt. However, it is essential for you to get an idea of how much money the other person currently has and if they have any problematic tendencies.

For example, even if they have a great salary, you should know if they have debt or if they do things like gamble, which could lead to issues down the road. Basically, you should have the big picture of their financial situation.

14. Do you want to get married and have kids?

Do you know if you want to get married and have a family? Because if you already know your answer, we’d expect that you’d want your future partner to have the same plans. Ask this question upfront. Do they see themselves married with children in the future and what does that future look like to them?

15. What does a successful life look like to you?

It’s difficult to define the word success because it looks different to everyone. Maybe your successful life is something quiet and simple off the beaten path. Or success could be being at the top of your field and living a life of luxury. It could also be starting a business and never having to work for someone again.

Ask your crush their definition of succuss and what that life looks like to them. One of you might dream of a life in the country, while the other wants a penthouse in a big city. Making sure that both of you want similar things in life is important for having a solid foundation.