15 Relationship Red Flags to Look Out For

Relationships can be tricky. At the beginning of a relationship, you’re in the honeymoon phase, meaning everything is new and exciting. However, this is the best time to be looking out for top relationship red flags. The reason is because you should be aware of potential problems before you get too invested and serious with your significant other.

There are a lot of telling signs that the person you’re seeing has problematic behaviors and tendencies. It can be hard to be impartial, which is way we created a list of 15 common red flags that you might encounter in your relationship. If you’re currently in a relationship and some of these red flags apply to your significant other, we strongly recommend reconsidering your relationship.

This post is all about the relationship red flags that you should be looking out for. 

1. They Won’t Commit

Basically, don’t waste your time. If you’re looking for a committed relationship and the person that you started seeing is wishy-washy at best, it’s time to move on.

Even if the person is great and you enjoy spending time with them, it doesn’t mean they can give you what you want as a partner. You have to make choices that are right for you and not based on maybe someday things can be different.

2. They Won’t Talk Through Problems

Open communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship. All couples fight, that’s just a fact. It’s how you communicate during those disagreements that matters. Having a screaming match and refusing to talk usually doesn’t lead to a long-lasting partnership.

When a problem does arise, couples need to be able to talk calmly and rationally. If your significant other refuses to talk through problems to find a resolution/common ground, it’s a huge red flag. It also signals that their point of view is the only one that matters and they don’t need to hear your side.

3. They Don’t Seem Bothered When You’re Having a Tough Time

Everyone needs love, support and understanding. When you have a bad day or are going through something difficult, you expect your partner to be there for you. If they’re not, it’s a red flag. They may have excuses about why they can’t be there, but it’s actually a big warning sign to you.

Seriously, a relationship is like being part of a team. You support your teammate and your there for them. You would do the same if the situations were reversed. So don’t make excuses for someone who can’t help you out when you need it.

4. Everything is Always About Them

They always need to be the center of attention, which is one of the signs your partner could have narcissistic personality disorder. For example, they try to out do you in every situation. If you have great news, they have better news. If you had a bad day, they had a worse day.

At events you attend together, they will find ways to be the star, even if it’s someone else’s celebration. It might take a while to notice this because at first, they may just seem gregarious and exciting. However, the first sign is that you’re always celebrating them.

5. They Make You Feel Guilty

Making your partner feel guilty isn’t healthy. It doesn’t matter what they guilt you about, it just isn’t right. Guilt can come in many different forms, whether it’s about how you spend your time or if you’re not doing enough.

However, don’t confuse guilt with someone telling you how they feel. There is a big difference. For example, someone telling you they feel sad that you don’t spend a lot of time with them anymore vs berating you for how you spend your time.

6. They Lash Out at You/Blame You for Their Problems

Is everything always your fault? Does your partner never take any personal responsibility or accountability? These are red flags. It’s easy for them to blame you for their problems instead of doing some internal reflection work.

Don’t be with anyone who yells at you, blames you for things and makes you feel bad when you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s incredibly problematic.

7. You’re Questioning If You’re Being Gaslit

We did an entire post about gaslighting. This term is over-used, so make sure to read our post to understand the definition of gaslighting. If you feel as if you’re being gaslight, get away immediately. It can really mess with your mental health if your partner makes you start to question your own reality.

8. They Act Jealous Often

Jealousy is something that is fairly common in relationships. However, it can escalate quickly. Jealousy comes in different forms. It could be about being jealous of your partner’s successes, or it could be regarding your partner’s friendships with other people.

If you’re feeling jealous or your partner is, try to talk to them about it. Get everything out in the open. If jealousy causes your partner to act irrationally and to insult you, that is when you’re going to have problems.

9. They Don’t Stick Up for You

Relationships include a lot of people, not just the couple. There are going to be friends and family members who play a role in your lives. Make sure your partner has your back, especially if someone doesn’t like you and uses that as an excuse to berate you, insult you or treat you poorly.

If they don’t stick up for you and/or defend or justify the person saying these things, they are not a true partner.

10. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, but not everyone is good at sticking with them. Make your boundaries clear and make sure your significant other respects them. If they don’t, they aren’t respecting you. Don’t let them try to justify their behavior. Either they respect your wishes or they don’t.

11. They Lie and Try to Cover It Up

Lying is an obvious red flag. What’s even more problematic is when you find out they lied and they continue to lie to cover it up. Habitual lying proves that the person can’t be in an open and honest adult relationship.

Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. Make sure you have trust or you’re just allowing your significant other to continue with this behavior.

12. They Make Major Life Decisions Without Consulting You

If you’re committed to each other, it’s common curtesy to consult each other before making life changing decisions, like moving to new job or deciding to move. Anything that alters your life plan is worth discussing because it’s up to you whether you should still stay together or not. If they act without talking to you, your opinion isn’t that important to them.

13. They’re Overly Secretive

If they always act secretive and like they’re hiding something, they probably are. It’s not a fun action movie where they have a double life. If they hide things, they probably have something problematic to hide.

This also goes back to trust. You need to be able to trust your partner. If they’re keeping secrets, it’s time to confront them. Last thing you need is to get more serious with someone who possibly has an addiction, is cheating, excessively gambles, etc.

14. They Act Distant

Acting distant could be a sign of struggling with mental health, so be careful before jumping to a conclusion However, acting distant and not committing to plans is a sign they want to end things, but they want you to be the one to do it.

Yes, people do this. They want to look like the victim, so they act distant until you have no other choice but to end the relationship. Confront them immediately about if they even want to be together.

15. Your Gut Tells You Something is Off

Listen to your gut, not your heart. Seriously, if your gut is telling you something is off. Please listen to it and protect yourself. Trust your gut over your heart in this situation. It doesn’t matter how much you want it to work if you already have a feeling that your relationship isn’t right.