“Tis the season to be Johan,” I sang loudly while walking into the local mall. It felt like Christmas was finally here. The candle store displayed scents of pine and fresh baked cookies, a big tree lit with multi-colored lights stood proudly and a red and gold chair took over the center of the mall. One lucky person would get to play Santa this holiday season and it had to be me. After my disaster of a Thanksgiving play, this was coming from The Boston Globe, not me, I had to do something to improve my reputation. Hence my first job ever.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: A Very Merry Johan”
This chapter takes place less than a month after The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Halloween Gone Wrong.
This year, my aunt invited me to direct the annual Thanksgiving Day play. Every year, we spent Thanksgiving with my aunt in Plymouth, Massachusetts. As the Director of the Plymouth Historical Society, my aunt is busiest around Thanksgiving. She and my mom thought taking on this position would provide me with something for my resume and would instill a sense of responsibility.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: A Thankless Thanksgiving”
This chapter takes place eight months before the events of The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 1. It’s a fun bonus chapter set during Johan’s junior year Halloween.
T-minus five days until Halloween and Melody’s annual Halloween party. This year, Mike, Mohammed and I scored invitations for the first time ever. Melody’s parties were legendary in our small town, since there wasn’t much to do, even on a major night like Halloween.
Melody lived in a Victorian-style mansion near the school, so I’ve been told. I‘d never visited her house before. But when her fancy black invitation with silver script came in the mail, I couldn’t help but cheer. Her parents were old school and thought formal invitations made the event more exclusive, even if the two of them would be away in Vermont for Halloween weekend.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Halloween Gone Wrong”
I figured if I was going to have to spend anymore time with these two, I was going to need a drink. I suggested a drinking game. This would accomplish two things. One, the alcohol would help me tolerate the terrible entity that was my friends. And two, I could finally one up Mike and prove to myself (and to Tory) that I was stronger than him.
I left to go to the bathroom and came back to find that Mike had already lined up some clear shot glasses for each of us.
“Alright Johan, first one to finish ten wins.”Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 7”
Tory and Mike hadn’t spoken to me for the rest of the day. My mom even said she didn’t blame them, with my attitude and all. ATTITUDE? I was being my best self.
But mom wanted us to play nice because some of her friends in the area were coming over for dinner tonight. Arthur grilled burgers and hotdogs for us all to enjoy as a “family.”
But worst of all, she wanted ME to say sorry and take them out for ICE CREAM. There was no way I was going to partake in their ingesting of death food and risk sullying my efforts at a herculean body, but I also didn’t want to get left out. I decided to tag along but figured I wouldn’t get anything.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 6”
I woke up after barely two hours of sleep. I walked outside expecting to have the patio to myself, but I found Mike and Tory swimming near the shore together.
“Did you guys sleep at all!?” I asked.
“Nope, we were too busy having fun!” shouted Mike.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 5”
More than 24 hours went by with Mike and Tory being awful. I couldn’t believe I was excited for Arthur, Liam and Patricia. Tonight was the annual O’Malley (my dad’s last name, not Arthur’s) kickoff to summer bash. We skinny dipped together in the ocean and then made a huge bonfire. I would skip s’mores this year, but I had a substitute: wheat thins with carob and banana!
Suddenly, my mom told me she was disappointed in me. She wanted me to stop with my health nut craziness, at least for our short time at the beach house. But I didn’t care! Everyone else could eat pointless calories. I would look great naked tonight…in the dark.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 4”
I woke up screaming in the middle of the night a few hours before we were supposed to leave for our beach house in Maine. My mom tried to force feed me a hamburger in the dream and then she turned into the Hamburgalar!
But the reality I woke up to was even worse! Mom said we were in a hurry, so she picked up DOUGHNUTS! She said she wouldn’t let me leave the house until I ate at least two. She said I was a growing boy and needed fuel.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 3”
“How was Prom?” Arthur asked as soon as I stepped into the kitchen. He had a newspaper in one hand and a large coffee in the other.
“Your mom said you didn’t say a word on the way home.”
“Just tired, I danced all night,” I said. I tried to fake a smile to get him off my back. I was trying to hide my disappointment that I didn’t get kissed. I texted my best friend Mohammed Leinman, who I knew had spent the night with his girlfriend Connie and I was upset because I knew that he got his dream night.Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 2 “