Tag: Tory Zabka

The Misadventures of Johan O'Malley

The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 7

According to Chren

I figured if I was going to have to spend anymore time with these two, I was going to need a drink. I suggested a drinking game. This would accomplish two things. One, the alcohol would help me tolerate the terrible entity that was my friends. And two, I could finally one up Mike and prove to myself (and to Tory) that I was stronger than him.

I left to go to the bathroom and came back to find that Mike had already lined up some clear shot glasses for each of us.

“Alright Johan, first one to finish ten wins.”

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The Misadventures of Johan O'Malley

The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 6

According to Chren

Tory and Mike hadn’t spoken to me for the rest of the day. My mom even said she didn’t blame them, with my attitude and all. ATTITUDE? I was being my best self. 

But mom wanted us to play nice because some of her friends in the area were coming over for dinner tonight. Arthur grilled burgers and hotdogs for us all to enjoy as a “family.” 

But worst of all, she wanted ME to say sorry and take them out for ICE CREAM. There was no way I was going to partake in their ingesting of death food and risk sullying my efforts at a herculean body, but I also didn’t want to get left out. I decided to tag along but figured I wouldn’t get anything.

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The Misadventures of Johan O'Malley

The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 5

According to Chren

I woke up after barely two hours of sleep. I walked outside expecting to have the patio to myself, but I found Mike and Tory swimming near the shore together.

“Did you guys sleep at all!?” I asked.

“Nope, we were too busy having fun!” shouted Mike.

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The Misadventures of Johan O'Malley

The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 4

According to Chren

More than 24 hours went by with Mike and Tory being awful. I couldn’t believe I was excited for Arthur, Liam and Patricia. Tonight was the annual O’Malley (my dad’s last name, not Arthur’s) kickoff to summer bash. We skinny dipped together in the ocean and then made a huge bonfire. I would skip s’mores this year, but I had a substitute: wheat thins with carob and banana! 

Suddenly, my mom told me she was disappointed in me. She wanted me to stop with my health nut craziness, at least for our short time at the beach house. But I didn’t care! Everyone else could eat pointless calories. I would look great naked tonight…in the dark. 

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The Misadventures of Johan O'Malley

The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 3

According to Chren

I woke up screaming in the middle of the night a few hours before we were supposed to leave for our beach house in Maine. My mom tried to force feed me a hamburger in the dream and then she turned into the Hamburgalar! 

But the reality I woke up to was even worse! Mom said we were in a hurry, so she picked up DOUGHNUTS! She said she wouldn’t let me leave the house until I ate at least two. She said I was a growing boy and needed fuel. 

Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 3” →