“Jared,” I yelled as soon as I opened the door to our dorm room. Jared leaned against his red husband pillow and watched a TV show on his iPad. “We have a problem.”
“What did you do now?” He didn’t even look away from his screen.
“I may have exaggerated about how my date went last night. Apparently, Noelle had a different story.”
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 13”
This chapter takes place less than a month after The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Halloween Gone Wrong.
This year, my aunt invited me to direct the annual Thanksgiving Day play. Every year, we spent Thanksgiving with my aunt in Plymouth, Massachusetts. As the Director of the Plymouth Historical Society, my aunt is busiest around Thanksgiving. She and my mom thought taking on this position would provide me with something for my resume and would instill a sense of responsibility.
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: A Thankless Thanksgiving”
It’s almost Halloween! As you all know, we love this time over year. We especially love autumn reading. Thank you to Rocking Specter for tagging us. We were so excited to participate in our first book tag and we’re even happier that it’s fall themed.
Continue reading “The Fall Bucket List Book Tag”
I was feeling really confident about the date tonight. I made Jared handle the reservations at the fanciest French restaurant in Manhattan…that my mom could afford. I traded in my trusty skinny jeans for the suit Arthur bought me a few months ago. Instead of a stupid taxicab, I tried to hire a limo, but you had to be 18 to make a reservation. Oh well, my mom would have been pissed anyway.
When I told Jared what happened the night before, he asked what idiot would confuse his female date with long dark hair for a waiter with a buzzed head? With Noelle in heels, she and the waiter were almost the same height, but that only made Jared laugh more.
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 12”
After a long, hot shower, I took in my reflection in the mirror. The nose pimples faded to nothing more than slight redness and my light skin began to tan evenly over my body, giving me a healthy glow. I brushed back my short dark hair, placing the blue gel over the surface.
“What do you think, Jared?” I stepped out of the bathroom in only a towel. This was my big night. I had to impress Noelle with the perfect outfit.
“Like a human?”
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 11”
I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache. Great, I thought. I probably blacked out and ended up embarrassing myself in front of that girl along with everyone else at the party. I then noticed that I was completely naked, and I was in someone else’s room.
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 10”
After my mom unpacked my stuff and set up my room for me it was time for her to leave. I appreciated her wanting to help. But now I felt she was overstaying her welcome. I was planning on getting a girlfriend down here and I felt she was just going to make me look less cool.
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 9”
“New York, New York!” I sang
“Why do you have to loudly belt out that song every time we go to this city, Johan?” My mom asked.
“I’m practicing my theatre skills.” I had to if I wanted to be on Broadway one day.
“Okay, well are you hungry? We can stop at a diner if you want some dinner.”
I was feeling a little hungry. Although I wanted to keep my lean physique for the girls at this program.
We stopped at a small diner on an empty road in Connecticut, where I got the late-night special meal, which consisted of a double stacked bacon, cheeseburger with onions, a side of curly fries, some chicken tenders, and a biscuit. I also ordered a shake because I figured it was like a protein shake just with ice cream instead.
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley Chapter 8”
I figured if I was going to have to spend anymore time with these two, I was going to need a drink. I suggested a drinking game. This would accomplish two things. One, the alcohol would help me tolerate the terrible entity that was my friends. And two, I could finally one up Mike and prove to myself (and to Tory) that I was stronger than him.
I left to go to the bathroom and came back to find that Mike had already lined up some clear shot glasses for each of us.
“Alright Johan, first one to finish ten wins.”
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 7”
Tory and Mike hadn’t spoken to me for the rest of the day. My mom even said she didn’t blame them, with my attitude and all. ATTITUDE? I was being my best self.
But mom wanted us to play nice because some of her friends in the area were coming over for dinner tonight. Arthur grilled burgers and hotdogs for us all to enjoy as a “family.”
But worst of all, she wanted ME to say sorry and take them out for ICE CREAM. There was no way I was going to partake in their ingesting of death food and risk sullying my efforts at a herculean body, but I also didn’t want to get left out. I decided to tag along but figured I wouldn’t get anything.
Continue reading “The Misadventures of Johan O’Malley: Chapter 6”
According to Chren 